Old Movie Review

You're right, poster.... It's only a matter of time before Shyamalan finally retires. Based on the graphic novel Sandcastle, Old is the 14th film (12th in the limelight) from infamous writer-director-producer-actor-egotist M. Night Shyamalan. All I can say to that is... Fool Hollywood once, shame on you. Fool Hollywood twice, shame on them. Fool Hollywood fourteen times, and you pretty much know this guy isn't going anywhere. That's not to say that all of Shyamalan's films are bad, but the fact that he has become a Hollywood punchline and is still in the limelight is remarkably absurd. So, let's take a look at his latest trainwreck before dubbing it as a trainwreck... Oh wait, oops.

Quick Thoughts on Shyamalan's Past Films

I'll list these off in release order:

Praying with Anger & Wide Awake: Haven't seen them. Didn't know they existed until I looked up his IMDB.

The Sixth Sense: His best film. Even after you know the twist, the film is emotional to the core. My personal favorite Haley Joel Osment performance too.

Unbreakable: Better on the second viewing. The down to Earth nature of Shyamalan's directorial style surprisingly meshes with the superhero tropes he covers here.

Signs: This was the first Shyamalan film I had ever seen, and I loved it back then, but have since noticed a ton of issues, mostly with the whole idea of predestination being pushed to an absurd degree.

The Village: Boring as dirt. Ending sucked.

Lady in the Water: Never saw it. Nostalgia Critic's review is hilarious though.

The Happening: His worst film. Terrible performances, no suspense, cheap production.

The Last Airbender: Horrible adaptation of my favorite TV show. Never give Shyamalan a blockbuster budget again.

After Earth: Never saw it. Heard too many bad things about it.

The Visit: A return to form, but not by much. It was cool seeing Shyamalan combine comedy with drama for once.

Split: A solid albiet awkwardly performed thriller. The ending has a better understanding of movie crossovers than most other movies that attempt it.

Glass: Gets worse the more I sit on it. A disappointing conclusion to the Unbreakable legacy.

Now, let's talk about Old, shall we?

The Story

The film follows two families and a couple that all go on a vacation to calm their nerves after going through various medical and psychological issues. The resort manager talks all of them into shuttling to a private beach, but when they get there, they find that each of them starts aging rapidly; the families' kids grow older, the grandma of one family dies, and so on. Each of them continuously tries to find a way off of the beach, but any attempt causes them to pass out, so the chances of escaping the madness keep looking slim.

What's Good About It

The Plot is Engaging

This is always the tricky part of Shyamalan's films. He always gives just enough intrigue in his stories that you want to know what's going to happen next. I won't spoil the actual payoff of this film (partially because even that's a tricky treacle), but I can say I didn't want to stop watching.

Other Bits:

-The Cinematography (aside from Shyamalan's usual close-ups) Looks Great

What Doesn't Work About It

The Characters are More Quirky than Fleshed Out

Every character is written more to stand out than they are to serve a purpose in the story. This guy's a nurse. There's the kid that keeps asking adults their names and occupations. There's one character that keeps veering away from the situations at hand to fixate on a movie with Jack Nicholson AND Marlon Brando (It's The Missouri Breaks, now shut up!).

The Dialogue is Awful

This is ultimately what made the movie unpleasant and hard to watch for me. Nobody talks like a real person. No one line of dialogue sounds connected to the other. I felt like the script was being written by a computer that got common quotes from IMDB ("Is this some kind of joke?").

The Resolution is Weak

The best way I can describe the ending to this without spoiling is that it's a more plausible version of The Happening.  With that said, though, I don't fully understand what Shyamalan is trying to say with the resolution to all of this.

Where Should You See It? Streaming

As gorgeous as the cinematography was to see on the big screen at times, ultimately, this is a smaller in scale premise that doesn't require a massive screen and could actually look more beautiful on a 4K TV anyway. And trust me, you can wait 45 days for the "answers" this movie gives.

Overall Thoughts

Old is a capsule of everything good and bad about Shyamalan's filmography at the same time. It builds intrigue to the point where you don't want to stop watching, but due to horribly written dialogue and overly quirky characters, it's a bumpy road, and the ultimate destination is too weak to be worth such a trip. If you have more of a tolerance for Shyamalan's clichés, you might enjoy it fine, but for me, those clichés just haven't aged well.

My rating: